Every day on Facebook I see the same things posted on my friends' walls. Lists on lists on lists of things that may or may not apply to you. Heck, I'll admit it. I LOVE a good Buzzfeed article that I find that just so accurately describes my life. (Case in point, a friend of mine posted "24 Signs You're Addicted to Beauty Products" on my wall and I've never felt as though one single post has ever so accurately described my life...) But recently I've noticed an increase in lists with the same overall theme, "A list of twenty-something _________ for _________ twenty-somethings."
The most recent post to go around that sparked my interested was entitled "
23 THINGS TO DO INSTEAD OF GETTING ENGAGED BEFORE YOU’RE 23." (If you've not yet read this one, you can find it
here.) Within minutes, I began to see this being posted on a countless number of friends' statuses. And within a day or so, I also began to see another post floating around. This one entitled "
MY FIRST BLOG: THE RESULT OF A CLOSED-MINDED 23 YEAR OLD." (Again, if you haven't read this one either, you can find it
here.) Now I'm not one to judge people for their opinions or to tell someone they're wrong for feeling the way that they do, I understand that in the United States everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But just like everyone else is entitled to their opinion, I'm also entitled to mine. So here it goes.
I'm 21 years old. I'm still single. (And no, there are no prospects on the horizon.) As I've said before, I graduate in May. 124 days to be exact. And like many other 20-23 year olds, I'm beginning to see many of my friends getting engaged before we've even graduated, so I get where the first blogger is coming from. I mean, let's be real. It's terrifying thinking about having to graduate and be a real person, especially when all your friends seem to be wrapped up with serious boyfriends or fiances. I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't love to be engaged right about now to a man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. That makes moving on to a new chapter that much easier. But at the same time, I'm (slowly) learning to accept my current single status and learning that I need to love myself before a man will love me. When I read the original blogger's list of 23 things to do, that's what I take away from it. It's not necessarily a list of things that every girl should do before turning 23. It's a list of things that may or may not make a girl feel better about themselves for being single and without a fiance. It's about empowerment.
Moving on to the second blog.
The second blogger also makes a good case. Her reasons for getting married and justification of there being no correct age to get married, only a correct mindset, are spot on. Her list of things to do with your husband, also great. But when it came to her opposing opinion in regards to the original blog, I strongly disagreed. While yes, I was very underwhelmed by many of the things on the original blogger's list, the second blogger seemed to completely missed the mark, as well as the point, in terms of the original list. The first blog was not meant to shame those who choose to get married young. I mean she has a point, the divorce rate for young couples is far higher than that of older couples. That's not an opinion, that's a fact. The point is, that to a single girl who sees countless numbers of girls their age getting engaged, it can be extremely discouraging. (And kinda make you feel like shit...) The list wasn't meant to be taken so literally. It's simply stupid things to do. If you want to eat a jar of nutella, alone, in one sitting, you eat that jar of nutella! If you want to get a passport and see the world, you do that too! And if you want to get married at 23 because you truly feel as though you've found the love of your life, go on girl, you do your thing! The original post is not trashing the idea of getting married, nor is it saying there's a right age to get married either. The rebuttal posted in the second blog does no more that to pick apart the original, literally countering the young girl who wrote the original post on each and every point in her list. Forgive me, but I find that a little closed-minded to say that she's completely wrong because to her, that's a list of things she think are a great idea. It's about feeling comfortable alone and not feeling like you need a man to get through it all.
This is what it comes down to. Both posts have valid points. And it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. They're both blogs. Simply that. Meant to express one's opinions in their own way.
So here's my advice. Read the lists if you want. They can be funny. (And wildly accurate from time to time.) But if you read them, take it with a grain of salt. They're opinions. Everyone has different opinions. Don't take the things you read on the blogs of strangers so literally or take the messages to close to heart. They're goofy and a way for people to express things in their own way. And if you don't agree. Write your own damn list! Write it for all of your followers or write it for yourself! Just live your life the way you see best fit.
Because in the end, that's really all that matters. Like both bloggers said, be selfish. We're all only human!
[note: the above photos were found on pinterest and are not mine]
